Am I an alcoholic?????????????

I love my Smirnoff Ice - Black. It's the only drink that gives me no hangovers, but, I take like 2-3 in a week or two. So you can imagine my shock when my son told my brother to talk to me coz I'm becoming an alcoholic. Let me back up a bit.

A few months ago, a friend of mine phoned me to say he was very near my house, and if he could pass by. I said 'why not'. He works for a big Off Licence that also distributes alcoholic drinks. He happened to have a few SI –black in the car, and coz he knows I like them, he brought a case of 24.

I had a few that evening, a few like 3.

This was a time when I was writing a paper, and every evening after we had dinner I'd retire to my bedroom, with my laptop and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, and sometimes I'd have 2 bottles. This went on for a few weeks. I didn't know my son was keeping records.

About six weeks later, my friend came again, and did the same. This time my son didn't keep quiet. He confronted me. 'Mum, you know you are drinking too much'. I was shocked.

We had a talk, and I reassured him. I thought all was gone.

Last Friday my new reap, Shujj brought me a big bottle of Smirnoff Ice.

On Saturday evening, about 10 pm I came from shooting a wedding, and my feet hurt. I was really knackered. I took a bath, then my blankie and just lay on the settee, sipping my chilled drink. About an hour later, as I was drifting off to sleep, my phone rung. It was my brother. He was at the door. I opened, and then immediately after, my son got out of bed. His eyes were red. He had been on the phone to my brother in tears, convincing him that I was drinking, again.

‘I think my mum has become an alcoholic’, I can just imagine him telling his friends and teachers. I think one of these days I’ll actually get drunk and he’ll see me drunk. He’s never seen me drunk, not in his life time.

Will be back soon

Still going well. I'm revenging on all the years. I'd forgotten how it felt like to be 'adored'.

I pray I'll find time soon to post something. I miss you all.

My internet is still not very sawa, and these days I hadly find my ways to the library and hotel parkings. To be honest, I don't even drive any more. He does.

Reaping where I didn't labour

I listened to a preaching from John 4 about the Samaritan woman, and vs. 38 caught my attention. I was very keen when the man of God said, ‘some of you labour so much, yet it has been commanded you go out and reap where you did not labour’. In my interpretation, my relationships have been crap because it’s never the right one. 4-8 months in the relationship you realise the person is not right, yet you feel you have put so much labour. I’d imagine there are people who labour for years and years, and finally when they leave each other, they have both changed so much in the way they see each other. A good example would be a man who keeps forgetting birthdays. After years of the woman mourning and constantly reminding him, he finally gets the hang of it such that he would never forget the next woman’s birthdays.

This weekend I’m off on a date, a blind one. I’ve not met him yet, but we’ve been talking for the last 2 weeks. He sounds nice; I’m hoping it turns out worth my while as I look forth to reaping another woman’s labour (wishful). Wish me luck.

Wilderness

Farmgal refered to a sermon she listened to and I thought maybe all the pastors had received the same word and delivered it a bit different. My pastor has been teaching on the Wilderness and the Wilderness Experience, and it has really gotten me thinking. The teaching comes from here and here

After Jesus was baptised, the Spirit of God came down, heaven opened and a voice said ‘this is my beloved son……’. Then Jesus was led to the wilderness.

What is a wilderness?

A place of
1. isolation
2. dryness
3. emptiness
4. lack
5. burreness

We try so many things but we remain empty. We get frustrated as we try. We bear no fruits. We seem not to enjoy life. We live by the day and we feel alone. Believing becomes hard, commitment is non existent and we lack direction and motivation. When Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane, He felt like quitting, but He told God to do His will.

But nothing just happens without a reason. When we are pressured in life, or when burdened, God wants to bring out something in us.

We go thru the wilderness because

1. God wants to purify us. We often sin and disobey God, but when we are faced with difficulties, we turn to God and repent.

2. satan wants to test God’s word in us ‘if you are the son of God’…, but God had already confirmed ‘this is my beloved son….’. Confusion comes and you've no idea what to believe. Always remember, before childbirth there are labour pains, but they do not last forever, and when a child is born, you remember the pains no more, just like the tests. So don't be confused by what the devil tries to preach to you.

3. God wants to empty you of yourself. God wants to teach you to rely on Him as we often think we can do without Him. .

4. God wants you to listen to His voice. You have to mature spiritually. You have to differentiate the trials and temptations, whether they are from the enemy or it’s God trying to teach you something. Later on, you can pick the lessons you learnt from the experience.

The enemy looks for those moments when you are weak and vulnerable (Jesus was hungry after fasting for 40 days). ....‘turn these stones to bread…..’ watch out your weaknesses, coz satan will target them and use them to his advantage while you are confused and in unbelief. ‘throw yourself down ….angels will catch you’, you test God unnecessarily. Lack and loneliness cause one to compromise.

So next time you are in the wilderness, learn from the experience, listen carefully coz God could be telling you something. Remember that satan had to get God's permission first before testing Job.

For the last 6 months God has really taught me to be humble, and to rely on Him in everything I do. I have (like Cheri once said) come from 'bank to grass', except mine's not bank, but grass I've hit. The light in the tunnel can be seen from a distant, coz He's faithful, He'll never leave or forsake us. But for us to grow or for God to use us effectively, the wilderness is inevitable.

Kenyans in London know how to do their thing.

It was a lovely day, hata the weather behaved itself. In my almost 20 yrs in UK, I've never been to a Rugby Match, lakini nilipenda. Below is the pure proof I was there, and I give God all the glory, coz I enjoyed myself.

The Kenyan team.... mmmmhhhhwa. First match Kenya beat Scotland I think 17-12. Second match Kenya beat USA 33-0, but they lost to Fiji 24-5.

The support was really kwa wingi. Kenyans came from all over, I reckon there were over 2500 kenyans, and the good thing is, they were all seated together. People said that the stadium was so quiet except when Kenya was playing. Kenyans were the only united supporters. Before beating USA, the slogan went 'Yes We Can', courtesy of Virgin Atlantic, the sponsors. After the match 'Yes we did' was sung until USA knew they were beaten.

Let the spirit live on, for next year, I'll be there too.

Twickenham Stadium South Wing was all Kenyan

And they all came

Kenyans

France Vs England

'Yes we can' support.

The Kenyan Team

The Kenyan spirit

The Kenyan Team