Flowerly Maua

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I smile recklessly and I love excessively. I live today knowing I have no other day until tomorrow. Now is my moment. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a mystery, but today, today is my gift (present).

Thursday, 12 June 2008

Polygamy or Bigamy?

I promised HnH a post of people who get married to married people. It has taken long, but I hope it serves the purpose.

This is a real life experience; in fact it's a friend of a friend of a friend who was played for 5 yrs.

This guy, I'll just call him Alex, was married to….. Jane traditionally for several yrs in their native country in West Africa. He came to the UK for studies and upon completion got a good job and brought his family over. By then, they had 3 children, all girls and the first born was almost 10 yrs. They lived in West London and Alex worked in Central London. Jane got a job as an admin assistant, and they settled in their new council house.

A few months of Jane coming to UK, Alex met …. mhhh, Sheila, a Jamaican beautician who was in her mid 20s and fell they fell in love. He never mentioned Jane or the girls through out their courtship. After almost a year of being together, they got married, and 3 yrs down the line had 2 children, a girl and a boy.

Alex had 2 mobile phones, one number he gave to Jane, and the other he gave to Sheila. He always switched of one phone according to which wife he was with, making excuses that it was a work phone and did not need it when at home. He lied to both of them that his sales job required travelling to Birmingham every week for 2-3 days and the rest of the time he'd be in London. He had divided his week so well between the two women. He'd have several days here, while the other wife thought he was out there working hard. His job also demanded attendance of conferences, international travel and sales exhibitions etc every other weekend. This would be the weekends the wives would have with their husband.

'A thief has 40 days', my grandmother always said. Alex’s 40th day came after 5 years.

One day, he came from work. It was Sheila's turn to behold the husband. As usual, he hung his jacket, and then went to have a bath. It was one of those evenings when he had 'come from a conference' and was really tired, and needed to soak himself in the bath.

He had forgotten to switch off 'Jane's phone', and as soon as he got into the bathroom, Jane phoned. Sheila knew she had no business with that phone coz it was all work. The phone stopped, then rung again and again. She thought maybe it was an emergency, and if she answered, she'd relay the message over to her husband.


The phone went off, and then rung a few seconds later.


'May I speak to Alex?'

'He's busy right now, May I take a message'.

'sure, tell him his wife phoned'

'What, I'm his wife'.

The women argued for several minutes, and it dawned on them that they were being played. So Sheila asked for Jane's phone number and so she'd call her later.

Late in the night when Alex was fast asleep, Sheila phoned Jane. They talked and exchanged notes on how they both had been the other wife. They even met on several occasions. They agreed not to disclose this to Alex until the right time. Jane lived in West London and Sheila lived in South East London (likelihood of meeting… very little). The truth, Alex never travelled outside London. Birmingham was West London and London was South London.

Every day, they talked. When Alex was with Jane, Sheila would call and joke that her husband had travelled to Birmingham or was in Europe on a conference. And Jane would say ‘my husband is right here with me. He looks too tired though, it must be that conference he went to last weekend’. And the game went on and on for 6 months, by which time both women had grown to resent him so much, and somehow like each other.

Alex's family (sisters and brothers) all knew of the 2 women. They had attended the two weddings, birthdays and other special occasions. They played the happy in-laws for both women, and the happy aunties and uncles for the children. both women felt very betrayed by the whole family.

Sheila's son's birthday was coming and this would be the moment they were both waiting for. The wives decided that Jane would turn up last after the sisters, brothers and friends. They'd make it extra special and mega.

When everyone was seated and enjoying themselves, Jane phoned Sheila to make sure it was time. Jane rung the door bell and Sheila asked Alex to please open the door, and she stood right behind him. It was such a shock for Alex. He looked at Jane, and the children, and then at Sheila and all he could say was 'You know her?'

When Jane walked into the living room, all the sisters and brothers went quiet. The 2 women did not bother. They just continued as though nothing had happened, until they cut the cake.

Sheila called the children and introduced them to each other, then send them outside to play. The drama in that house, wacha tu.

Alex excused himself to go to the gents, but instead opened the door and off he went. None of the wives heard from him for a month. The sisters and brothers were too ashamed to talk, they just picked up their bags and children and left.

When Alex turned up at the door steps of both of them, none wanted to listen. He had had his cake and he had eaten it. They had both packed his staff and never wanted to hear from him. He lost his 2 families at the same time.

2 weeks ago (almost 2 yrs since this whole saga),a friend saw him on the streets, he's become a tramp and there's a possibility he's addicted to alcohol, or drugs. I wonder what led to this?

My question is, was it worth it?


boyfulani said...

am i number one????? ahha yeee..back to comment if it is so...

Anonymous said...

serves him right...to be a tramp..uuumph...
and those relas are evil...pure EVIL! how can they let this happen without making a stop to it?
and those women, ai..that is PURE FEMINISM...which i dont do, coz if i was the one, i would have hated on that other one vibaya sana, i would have caused, packed my shit and move...period. even tho it is not that other woman's fault, i wouldnt have cared!
but hey, i guess the way they dealt with is how it should be, you know, power to the women!

bOMSEH said...

Jane and Sheila are nasty, how can they deny their children of a father they have known all their lives?

petesmama said...

Lol Bomseh, according to the super schedule, the kids had known their father for only half their lives.

And if he had added a mistress to the mix, then it would have been a third of their lives.

Pitiful story; stupid man; gullible women.

mwasjd said...

Is this a true story? It sounds like something from a soap! I must be living in utopia. Sad story, very sad. God help us keep the marriage relationship sacred and pure.

threetypesofcrazy said...

Very sad.

Iiiiisssshhh greed is a terrible thing. For some people life is just a game.It would help if the player let the others know he was just playing.(with fire!)

Maua said...

@Boyfulani, you did a runner, again.
@Neema, Very evil relas, but hating just adds up the probs. i like the way they handled it.
@Bomseh, I agree with Petesmama, he was hadly there. Is there anything like half a father.
@Mwasjd, It is a true story, people I've met. Marriage was just a game to him.
@3TOC, he wanted all, he lost them all.

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

This guy kwanza we should laugh at him. How long did he expect to carry on with this charade? Even with the best laid plans someone always relaxes his guard after some time - like he did when he forgot to switch off the phone.

I dont know whether in their country there is the story of that hyena which split into 2? Trying to have everything at the same time? Lol silly guy.

And the women. They actually didnt get into a cat fight?? Those are strong ones.

HLumiti said...

Poor Alex, playing out his bigamous instincts on the wrong birds in the wrong lands without a disclosure policy.

Ati 'You know her?' Mr. Bean wouldn't have done it better.

And becoming a tramp? Ran out of ideas and lost his job too? Walimuroga?

Maua, I've really enjoyed my visit here and will surely be back. Ngore mucinite blogu!

Half n Half said...

His biggest, baddest, worstest mistake was marrying the other one!

As for those relas, God help mine if they ever do that to me

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

ha ha ha HLumiti ati ngore mucinite blogu. Someone is learning kuyu real fast. I wonder what old time mothers would actually call a blog - that is if they would even grasp the concept in the first place.

extravagantgrace said...

Am laughing so hard my sis wants to know what am reading. Well its sad but good on the ladies

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Now those are some beautiful flowers.

Half n Half said...

hey, guess what, am reading a book called, " Yours Faithfully: Forsaking all others?" by Sheila O'Flanagan
The same thing happened, but the dude got an accident and thats how the women discovered that they were married to the same idiot!

Again I repeat, why marry the second one, just have something on the side and move on! you dont have to marry

Prettylyf said...


Maua said...

@Shiko, what happened to the hyena, I didn't pay attention to my grandma, I was busy thinking how he'd swallow me up the next minute.
The cat fight lasted a few minutes, but I must say they are very strong women. Jane has moved to USA, and cut the comm. The flowers, some place I went for a nyam choms and l later organised a wedding that took place there. Brogu or broko?

@Hlumiti, geniuses run off ideas too, and then they burn the blogs.

@HnH, they should've dealt with the relas as well, but they escaped before the women got more scorned. I wanna read that book.

@ExG, first time I heard this, my mouth opened wider and wider, imagining how, what, where and what i'd have done.

@Prettylyf, yes it did happen. i had to get sheila's approval before posting.

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

The hyena if I remember well got to an interception and there was meat on one side or both? Cant remember. He could not make up it's mind which road to follow. So in his greed he opted to follow both. He split in half as the roads grew further and further apart.

joyunspeakable said...


no comment

Fixated said...

Kudos to Jane & Sheila. They handled the situation extremely well

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Maua you're silence on blogosphere is very loud. Upo? Everything ok?

Maua said...

Me fine, working on my next attaction.

donworry said...

I have just read this wonderfully written piece.

Hats off to Maua for keeping my totally gripped in the tale.

Alex: Waswahili said that njia mbili zilimshinda fisi. Most men, if they were honest, would call you a lucky-devil for surviving that long but once you are caught they would all feign disgust and moral indignation, perhaps even asking you....who did you think you were....james bond?

Society is such a lousy hypocrite. The in-laws are no better. Unfortunately as is often the case those who suffer the most are the innocent ones; Jane, Sheila and their children.

It can never be worth it.....