Wilderness

Farmgal refered to a sermon she listened to and I thought maybe all the pastors had received the same word and delivered it a bit different. My pastor has been teaching on the Wilderness and the Wilderness Experience, and it has really gotten me thinking. The teaching comes from here and here

After Jesus was baptised, the Spirit of God came down, heaven opened and a voice said ‘this is my beloved son……’. Then Jesus was led to the wilderness.

What is a wilderness?

A place of
1. isolation
2. dryness
3. emptiness
4. lack
5. burreness

We try so many things but we remain empty. We get frustrated as we try. We bear no fruits. We seem not to enjoy life. We live by the day and we feel alone. Believing becomes hard, commitment is non existent and we lack direction and motivation. When Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane, He felt like quitting, but He told God to do His will.

But nothing just happens without a reason. When we are pressured in life, or when burdened, God wants to bring out something in us.

We go thru the wilderness because

1. God wants to purify us. We often sin and disobey God, but when we are faced with difficulties, we turn to God and repent.

2. satan wants to test God’s word in us ‘if you are the son of God’…, but God had already confirmed ‘this is my beloved son….’. Confusion comes and you've no idea what to believe. Always remember, before childbirth there are labour pains, but they do not last forever, and when a child is born, you remember the pains no more, just like the tests. So don't be confused by what the devil tries to preach to you.

3. God wants to empty you of yourself. God wants to teach you to rely on Him as we often think we can do without Him. .

4. God wants you to listen to His voice. You have to mature spiritually. You have to differentiate the trials and temptations, whether they are from the enemy or it’s God trying to teach you something. Later on, you can pick the lessons you learnt from the experience.

The enemy looks for those moments when you are weak and vulnerable (Jesus was hungry after fasting for 40 days). ....‘turn these stones to bread…..’ watch out your weaknesses, coz satan will target them and use them to his advantage while you are confused and in unbelief. ‘throw yourself down ….angels will catch you’, you test God unnecessarily. Lack and loneliness cause one to compromise.

So next time you are in the wilderness, learn from the experience, listen carefully coz God could be telling you something. Remember that satan had to get God's permission first before testing Job.

For the last 6 months God has really taught me to be humble, and to rely on Him in everything I do. I have (like Cheri once said) come from 'bank to grass', except mine's not bank, but grass I've hit. The light in the tunnel can be seen from a distant, coz He's faithful, He'll never leave or forsake us. But for us to grow or for God to use us effectively, the wilderness is inevitable.

Kenyans in London know how to do their thing.

It was a lovely day, hata the weather behaved itself. In my almost 20 yrs in UK, I've never been to a Rugby Match, lakini nilipenda. Below is the pure proof I was there, and I give God all the glory, coz I enjoyed myself.

The Kenyan team.... mmmmhhhhwa. First match Kenya beat Scotland I think 17-12. Second match Kenya beat USA 33-0, but they lost to Fiji 24-5.

The support was really kwa wingi. Kenyans came from all over, I reckon there were over 2500 kenyans, and the good thing is, they were all seated together. People said that the stadium was so quiet except when Kenya was playing. Kenyans were the only united supporters. Before beating USA, the slogan went 'Yes We Can', courtesy of Virgin Atlantic, the sponsors. After the match 'Yes we did' was sung until USA knew they were beaten.

Let the spirit live on, for next year, I'll be there too.

Twickenham Stadium South Wing was all Kenyan

And they all came

Kenyans

France Vs England

'Yes we can' support.

The Kenyan Team

The Kenyan spirit

The Kenyan Team

Parents Evening

I’ve been trying to get an appointment with my son’s teachers for a while as I’m concerned about his progress in school, but…..I’ve phoned the school and left messages with the receptionists who always promise that I’ll get a call back, but……

My son has always been good in maths, science, and any subject that does not need much reading. He hates reading, which is the opposite of his mother. But of late, all I hear is 'I hate Maths'. He never seems to have any homework.

Then, there are these drums lessons he takes, which I have to pay for. Last term I asked him what time he goes for drums and it turns out it’s during class time. The lessons are 35 minutes which take up 15 minutes of his play time and 20 minutes of a Humanities lesson. I reckoned that if I’m paying for the drums, they should be taught after school. I talked to the Form Tutor about this, and we agreed they’d find a slot that does not conflict with his lessons, and if not I’d withdraw him from the drums completely. No slot was found, and no one told me, until the end of the term when I got a letter reminding me that I had not paid for drums.

Yesterday was Parent’s Evening. I saw almost all the teachers. Apart from Spanish and Humanities, my son is either on or above the expected level. Spanish I understand as it’s a new subject he picked up when he went to secondary school last year, and he seems to be making progress, but Humanities……… mmhh, it’s the damn drums.

I was talking to the Humanities teacher when I noticed my son had a chewing gum in his mouth. I told the principal to excuse me a second. I asked my son to remove the gum from his mouth and wrap it on a tissue which I handed to him, then we continued.

As soon as we finished with the Humanities teacher, who was very concerned, we went straight to the Form Tutor, who didn’t seem to understand my concerns, so we went to the Deputy Principal and poured all my worries. In the middle of our conversations, I noticed my son was chewing again, I flipped. Right there and then, I turned to him and made a whole scene.

‘I just told you to stop chewing’.
‘You know you shouldn’t chew in school’.
‘It’s rude to chew when talking to people, especially your teachers’.
‘Can you sit up when I’m talking you to you’?
‘Is that how you disrespect your teachers?’

The principal just looked at me. The parents with the other teachers near me looked at me. My son just sat there, not knowing what to do or say. We always have these kind of conversations at home, but he had never seen me react this way before. I had to do this, my way of embarrassing him so he never repeats this again. I’d hate to imagine him like some kids I see around. When I was in school, I’d have been punished for this, so, where or when did the line get broken?

‘I’m sorry mummy’, he kept saying.
‘I’ll deal with you when we get home’ and I got back to business.

‘It’d be good to have more of your kind, maybe the kids here would listen more’.
To cut the whole thing short, I’m withdrawing Master Maua from the drum lessons, and I’ve registered him else where for two hours a week after school for the same amount. He’s grounded (no playing games, just reading and finishing his pending home work) for a week coz of chewing gum and for not handing in his homework in time in almost all the subjects except Art and Spanish.

But the punishment starts tomorrow as he’s going with me to watch Kenya play rugby, the closest he gets to being close to Kenyans from Kenya as opposed to Kenyans from London or UK in general.

Hoping to see some of you guys. Farmgal, Superb Stallion, I'll look out for you.

Honest S/crap

I don’t ’brag, so please, don’t make me.

I’m very grateful and honoured to have this award. I also wanna thank you (you know yourselves) for the messages, chats, and constantly reminding me that I’m missed in the blogsphere.

Shiko, Kei, Ngare and Joy all tagged or is it s/crapped me, That is a real 'honour'. Shiko and KK missed the flowerly maua smile (I’ll put a fresh one soon- as soon as I get broadband), thus the tagging to guarantee a comeback. Ngare misses the good stuff (which ones, please electrify and elaborate – Masanduku). Joy thinks I’m honestly quiet and tagging might make me yell (I’m yelling now). I hope to stay, this time.

I pray that I’m not late, like Kei, and if I am, I blame the cable in my new address. I hate BT, and Virgin Media has no broadband on my postcode (shame on you Mr Branson, this is pure discrimination). Believe it or not, I park outside a library or hotel to ‘tap’ wireless connections.

Ok, here are the listings.

1. I love the Lord with all my heart, soul and strength. I try to make my actions speak louder than my words. I believe that with Him all things are possible, even Mr Maua coming into my life. He reminds me that if I seek His Kingdom first, (not because He’ll reward me, but because He commands me) all the other things, He knows I need them, therefore He’ll give them to me when the right time comes.

2. I leave my phones on all the time, and I pick all my calls. All my close friends know that they can get me any time of the day. If you phone me late in the night, especially after I’ve dozed off, I’ll answer, and in my sleep I’ll ask if you are ok, and if we can talk in the morning. I know I always forget to phone back, but then again, the tone matters,

3. I am multi skilled. I pride myself in wedding planning and photography, but I only do this in summer. I’ve worked in health care service delivery most of my working life, yet my PG qualification has absolutely nothing to do with health service. I use my skills more in church and social events. I’m still studying, and still not making use of what I study. (Crazy ehhh).

4. I love my son so much. He is the reason for all seasons. I want the very best for him.

5. Kenyanchick and Modo inspired me into blogging. For about 2 months I toyed myself into commenting on their posts, and thru the comments, I staggered into PKW, and I had to comment. I had to open a g-mail account to comment, then a blog and the rest is history.

6. I can’t drive manual cars. If my car breaks down, my brothers laugh at me coz I can’t drive theirs, but they can drive mine. I’ve tried, but I just don’t get to gear 3.

7. I look 20 something in my 5.3 frame, pass for a school gal, sometimes I wish I look my age, like when I went to the Off Licence and they refused to serve me without an ID. Once I cut my hair very short and my son forbid, I repeat, forbid me to go to his school because I looked like a boy, and the next day he said that I’m the smallest adult he knows. When my son was a baby, the first time I took him to the health visitor she insisted on bringing the mother. In my son’s records, it showed the mother was 30 something, but this little thing with a buggy looked 15-6. I worked in hospitals (before the crunch), and when I see these big mamas with 3 kids then I look at their records….DOB …..1983, I think to myself, gal you’re old, ’83 you were in High school.

8. I smile a lot, smiles help me make friends. I’ve got a good dental pack, which reminds me I need to book an appointment to see 3TOC’s colleague. Smiles earn me friends, I make them very easily, but when an underage starts making passes, the smile vanishes like mad.

9. I hope to meet all bloggers in my blogroll, and many more. I think most of them are interesting people. I’ve recently found out that one blogger in my blogroll is an old friend/relative, who we communicate all the time.

10. I’m always late in submitting my assignments, and the truth is, I never understand the question until 3-4 days to the deadline. My tutors are forever cross with me.

Bonus
11. I'm a photographer, and although my son has loads of albums, I can count my photos. I never get any taken. EGM, how many photos do you have?

Given that I’ve come in late and many are tagged, Can I only do 3, please. Dear blogthren I give you pkw prettylyf EGM

the rules,guys, the rules.

1.You must brag about the award - Check

2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger - Check

3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.
5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on with the instructions!

If I've not done something right, it has to be coz I've not blogged for long, might take long to get used to again.

MOTHERS’ DAY.

Last month was Mother's day in UK, and this Sunday, many countries, Kenya included, millions of people will honour their mothers. Please do so, if you have a mother.

I loved my mother very much, but the concept of Mothers’ day is something I picked up when I became a mother myself. I remember sending Mother’s day cards to my mum whenever I found them regardless of the season. I didn’t know about this special day until 12 yrs ago, but I always reminded my mum that I loved and honoured her.

People remember their mothers in various ways. I remember phoning my mum an hour after my son was born just to thank her for giving birth to me. Not that I didn’t appreciate her before, but after almost 10 hours of labour, I understood what she had gone through to have me and my 2 brothers. My baby was so special, and it wasn’t until then that I appreciated mum telling me how special I was.

My brother had walked into the labour ward 10 minutes after my son was born, and seeing how tiny and delicate my baby looked, and maybe how much love and care he’d need, he thought of his own mum, how she had looked after him. He phoned her. We all have different reasons of honouring mothers.

I celebrated mother’s day with my mum present only once. Ever. I made her a special meal, bought her favourite drink and I got her flowers. In the morning I had remembered to make her a full English breakfast. I had bought a MUM ring which I presented to her after the meal. In the evening, we both drove to her mum’s where she honoured her mother in the same way for the first time. It was a special day for the two of them.

She passed away a month later.

I thank God all the time for that one Mother’s day, and for that one month plus that I spent with her. I guess those few days were the best time she had had in a long time as a mother with her daughter.

Immediately after ‘A’ levels, before the results were out, I left home to study abroad, initially for 3 yrs. After 3 yrs, I’d not even finished my first year in Uni, and when I went home to renew my student’s visa, the country had changed so much. During this short stay (10 weeks), it dawned on me that I felt more in-touch with myself in Europe than Kenya. At first it was the freedom of doing whatever I wanted, then came the fact that after 3 yrs away, my former classmates were in their last year in Uni, and I was just beginning. I knew it’d be a struggle coz of language barriers(I was in a non English speaking country), but I had started, and I wasn’t about to quit. There was also the pride of being in Europe. Irrelevant as it may seem, I lost the valuable opportunity of spending time with my mother.

I went back after 12 yrs when I learnt my mother was seriously ill. She had visited us once. In short, for 12 yrs, I’d spent only 3 weeks with her.

I miss her dearly. Everyone’s mother is the best thing close to love that one can ever know. Mine was/is the best thing I've ever known. There is no single day that passes by that I don’t think of her. I think of so many things, her wisdom, her jokes, and above all, I think of her unconditional unselfish love. She gave her best in her own way, not expecting anything in return, and she never complained. As children, we fell and hurt ourselves but she always had enough bandages to nurse, not only the physical wounds, but the heart aches as well. When she visited us in UK, in the middle of the night when she woke up to use the bathroom, she’d come to my room to tuck me, just like she did when I was little. To her, I was her baby, not a 20 something going on 30 yr old grown woman. I can still hear her calling me ‘Mummy, Baby, Kairitu or Mahua witu’.

My son wonders how on earth she let me leave home to study abroad before I even turned 20. To be honest, if I was to do it to my son today, I’d really feel guilty, very guilty. But this is 2009. In the 80s, the best education was in Europe, and that is what she wanted for her children.

When I was a very small girl, my brother and I used to fight constantly, and if my brother was on the wrong, she’d say ‘We tigana na kairitu gakwa. Onakangigakorwo England, kaigwe ndina thina, gakahaica ndege goke ihenya’. ( Leave my babygirl alone, she’s like my insurance. Wherever she’ll be, England or where, if I ever need her she’ll take the first flight and come to me). And this was like a prophecy, coz when she got very ill, I left my son behind and flew home to look after her until her last breath in my arms.

The first 10 yrs of my stay in Europe were tough. Life in Kenya was tough too. In as much as I’d have loved to help out, send her money every week or every month, I couldn’t. I probably visited my local Forex Bureau once every 3-6months. I know she understood. But today, when I walk past the same Forex Bureau and see people queuing to see those Somalis, to send money home, I think of how I’d have loved to send her more money. I think of how I’d have done without that night out where I’d spent £20-30, or how I’d postpone my calls to her coz I was ‘busy’. I think of that £100 I saved last month, but can’t send it to her coz she’s no more.

I can’t express how much I miss her. I regret not having spent enough time with her in the name of education and ££££££££££. My son never got to meet her, and that makes me so angry coz I kept postponing our visit home. Today, there’s no one to visit, except distant relatives.

I always wonder if I’d go home more often if she was alive, if I’d make those phone calls more often if she was on the other end? Had she been alive, would my son go to her during the school holidays like I always did to my grandmother’s?

If your mum is alive, stop wondering and pick up the phone and tell her how much you love her, get into that car, buy your travel ticket, and go see her now, coz there will be a day when she’ll be no more, and like me, you’ll look up to other women of her age to honour them in a season like this.

This Mother’s day, I’ll remember and miss my mum so much, but I’ll remember to give honour where it’s due, and honour the 2 women that I go to often, the 2 women who never tire in giving me advice, the two women who I cry out to when I need a mother. The two women who my son has learnt to call Gogo and Cucu for a long time, Mary S(Gugu)and Lucy W(Cucu).

I love you both. And I'm proud to call you 'Mathe'.