Flowerly Maua

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I smile recklessly and I love excessively. I live today knowing I have no other day until tomorrow. Now is my moment. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a mystery, but today, today is my gift (present).

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Facebook has brought back my love

Facebook! Yes Facebook.

On Saturday nights after my son has gone to bed and no ‘gal’s dinners, I kunyihia hwai online. I check my emails, travel through graduates.com, facebook.com, blog abit before getting to my research project. I’ve done this for a few months now, and it’s become a norm.

A few Saturdays ago, I visited facebook.com. I don’t know whether I’m the only one who looks at friends’ friends. But this Sat, I had a look at a few friends’ profiles, their friends, then the friends’ friends, and the friends’ friends etc. And LOL, I saw this face, it looked familiar, a bit aged though.

‘Lol, that was my high school sweet heart.’

Last I saw him was 8 yrs ago (after 12 yrs) when I went home for holidays, I bumped into him on the streets of Nairobi, exchanged phone numbers, met once for coffee near his work place. He told me he was a Legal Advisor in the banking industry; he was married (recently separated) with 2 beautiful boys.

We reminded ourselves of our days, and he told me how heartbroken I had left him when I left home for Europe immediately after school. I had promised to keep in touch, but 6 months later, the distance kept us farther and farther away. He also expressed how unhappy he was in his marriage, and how he was trying to make things work for the sake of the boys. I was not an expert in that area, but I assured him I’d pray for him. 4 days later I was on my flight back to London.

But here he was, on facebook.

I quickly took a trip down memory lane. He was so sweet to me those days. He’d go to the nearby town centre (girls were not allowed to leave the school compound), and bring me goody goodies, and of course he’d bring chapos and katharika when he went home for the weekends. We always went to the dining hall and assembly together, were involved in the same clubs and activities. We even encouraged each other to take extra subjects to be in the same classes more often. We were very compatible. Needless to say, I loved him. Damn distance.

Back to facebook: I poked him, and the next day he not only poked back, but requested to be my friend, he send a message, and scrolled down my contact details for my email and send me a lengthy email, summarising the last 20 yrs in an A4 size letter. HE’S SINGLE AGAIN.

We’ve been emailing each other every day, and we’ve been phoning each other every now and again (I’ve become a big stake holder at the corner shop next to my house - low cost calling cards), and my phone bill is huge. I feel like a teenager in love. I had forgotten how it felt like, and I feel special. This beau is bringing all this back. We’ve been up and down the recalling highway; there is so much to catch up on. Last weekend he reminded me of our second last meeting before I left Kenya. We had just sat our last exam paper, general paper, I think. It was a Tuesday. Apparently we had organised for our luggage to be picked the weekend before, thus, we were very light. We went to Ken-Chick (pornographic chicken) somewhere near the bus station. We talked till very late in the evening.

He took out a ring. He must have picked it up from a curio. It was a cheap thing, (but it meant the world to me). He put it on my middle finger and said it was a token of his love, and that he’d wait for me(3 yrs). I cried, and cried. He held me close. He told me how much he loved me. I promised him I’d be back and we agreed that we’d get married, have 4 babies (2 boys and 2 girls) who’d look exactly like him. (We had seen far, we were both 18). He said he wanted to have the flowers(smile kama maua)in his family, forever.

We then just sat there, not talking for a very long time. We tore off a piece of paper from an exercise book, and started writing love notes, and responding to them, without talking. It was so romantic. We photocopied that paper to remind us of that day, and our promises to each other, sealing our oath. (I kept it for years, until I was convinced it was no more).

2 days later he joined my family and friend to take me to the airport. It was the last time I’d be considered a child. I kissed everyone goodbye, and lastly I hugged him, he held me tight. We were like that for 2-3 good minutes, promising the world to each other. We were true. With my family witnessing all this. No contamination. He went back to ours and spent 3 more days with family, playing the perfect son and brother-in-law. That was 20 yrs ago.

But, thanks to facebook, a few weeks after resurfacing in my life, I think I’m in love with him, again, He’s asked if we can be Mr & Mrs Maua. I would like to, but there are 3 children involved as well (his 2 boys and my son), they do not know yet. He does not live with them, but they are in the equation.

He’s trying to get a visa to come to UK in a few weeks (to get formally engaged) and when my son closes school in summer we’ll go home for a month. He says we should take advantage of that time and just tie the knot. I’d love to, but for the sake of Master Maua (school) I’m not ready to relocate. He does not want to relocate here. He’s more established in Kenya than I am in UK.

Are we dwelling on unfinished business? For 20 yrs there've been several people in my life, and I'm scared of this one being a statistic as well. Blogthren, what do you think I should do?

For once age is just a number – he’s 2 months older


candybox said...

Im normally a very cautious person in life so what i would suggest is wait for your summer holidays. Spend that time with him and see how the land lays (so to speak)

20 years is a long time and people do change. Life happens. Get to know each other again. Talking on the phone in one thing, sitting across the table from someone and looking them in the eye when they talk is something totally different.

Anyway thats just my peni mbili. Hope things work out though and keep us updated.
Sorry for blogging here.

Bomseh said...

Life can get interesting sometimes. 20 years and only two meetings? You should first meet and see each other live live. If then chemistry continues, well, am not an expert but I think when there is a physical offline connection U'll both know what next.

Mo Maalim said...

This is pretty romantic. High school sweethearts rekindling the old flame.

I'm not much for giving rlationship advice but, like bomseh, I feel it would be wise to spend a few days together and see if what you feel translates well 'offline'.

Anonymous said...

this is like the sweetest thing i've heard in a long time...even in my stressed mood am feeling happy for you!
and am always for this idea: evrything happens for a reason, you saw him and got in touch for a reason, so dont give up just yet...go home during summer, spend time with him, talk about all the lost years, tell it to you kids and family and then after that, when you see you've learnt something about him, his life...go ahead...get married, life's too short to stop and wonder what if, what if...
all the best!!!!

Maua said...

Thanks guys.

@Candybox, No probs, ya welcome here. If he gets a visa, I'll have 2 weeks with him. We'll see.

@Bomseh, Hebu imagine since I left home I've only seen him once. Online, the chemistry is wacha tu. I'll wait for offline.

@Mo Maalim, romantic eh, I feel 16. I'll wait a bit.

@ Neema Divine, It feels soooo sweet. I'll wait for the reason, in summer.

Be silent said...

Ask God for his intervention this is kinda complicated.. All the best though

31337t said...

I still hold such sites in contempt. Then i see what it did for you, i still am not swayed. :-)

Kelitu said...

I wouldn't rush and call the catering service or the pastor just yet.
20 years is a damn long time and 2 encounters just won't do (esp in this day and age).

If he gets his visa... study him. Don't spend time with him...study him.
His mannerism, his outloook in life, his plans/goals (for himself and his family) for now and the future.
Only then can you be able to make sound decisions. Coz the last thing you need is a dead-beat man in your crib, running up your phone and cable bill, talking about,
"well this ain't nairobi, i don't like the weather, jobs are hard to come by..."

I wish you all the best!

Anonymous said...

I don't you should follow this one up...but you're the best judge so follow your heart but first spend time 'knowing each other'

KK said...

20 years... Damn! I'm not even that old.... ok, I lie.... Tis really sweet though but I'm in no position to give advice.... For me, I follow my heart, one life to live... no regrets. I have a feeling you know what you are going to do... All the best:)

Maua said...

@31337t, the sites are fun (when ya bored)but I wasn't expecting this.

@Kelitu, I'll study and analyse him proper, ie if i'm not carried away. Who needs to mother a big man?

@FG, I'll judge after the UK visit.

@KK, I try to live today, this time I'm beat. I've no idea what I'll do. Time will tell.

Maua said...

@BS, I need intervention, kabisa.

joyunspeakable said...


haiya....i see and feel you. you have this thing you have been denying all along aroused in you. some days ago you swore, men are in your past and so dating wasn't...

however they say never say never, cos you never know....

which thought leads me to say that all you need is to let your mind be sober....dont allow your heart to jump beyond your mind...

maybe your guy is lucky to have you...maybe you are the lucky one.......both of you have history together and away from each other...

your great Mauas haven't been part of that History. What to do?

they will determine the direction you take...however the decision is yours and all our judgements may be so wrong....Our God Knows.....

did you know by virtue of God that you are blessed? do you want to know what to do? will it please God? then go for it.

Afroideas said...

Maua, You know that people come to our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. The big one is, in which category does he fall?

I am happy for you for all the good memories and feelings this has brought to you, but you have a long way ahead of you.

Be wise and use your good judgement and let whatever is supposed to be, be, not forgeting what you have gone through this last 20 yrs.

But at the end of the day, I would say follow your heart. Wishing you all the happiness you deserve.

Keep smiling....

Proud Kikuyu Woman said...

My feeling is that if you 2 love each other, at least one should be ready to relocate. You also want the best for Master Maua, so it makes sense that he comes over, in my opinion. But you know how it is when people are settled and living well at home, as in moving abroad to do what?
In my opinion, I'd check him out a little bit more, get to know who he has become, with the goal of, if he turns out to be still bwana right, moving back to Kenya. After all, there are good schools and things that Master Maua can still enjoy. That's my opinion.

Thanks for the other info, you know on my first post.

Maua said...

KK, love life knows no young or old. I think we all suffer the same confusion.

@Joyunspeakable, the exitement an confusion kind of makes the prayers hit the roof. Intercession brother, much needed.

@Afroideas, Welcome here. I need tis one for a reason and lifetime. Last 20 yrs have been hell in that dept last thing I need is a transit.

Maua said...

@PKW, Ya welcome,may favour come ya way.

Summer will tell.

boyfulani said...

first time hia too! and i get a really complicated storo....now, like pocahuntaz..i say: follow yua heart. be a good animal, obey yua insticts.
great blog though..when cn i come for a maua?

Maua said...

@boyfulani. Ya welcome here. I'll be a good animal and follow my insticts.

About the maua, don't worry, I'll e-smile at you first.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Very touching post almost brought a tear to the eye and that is a very hard thing to do. I can relate to you on the fond memories of First Love. Every relationship is a gamble but the payoff is huge when you hit the jackpot so I think there is no harm is weighing the options and if the chemistry is there well it can't be any different than meeting a new bloke.
Best of luck however.

KK said...

Hi Maua... so what's the update? Any? And I concur with the suffering confusion part... tis why I try to keep my distance from that term - Love - and all its cousins:)

Maua said...

I'm still speaking to beau at least once a day, and like 5 emails a day. I've been drawing African and Kenyan maps on the floor when talking to him. I thought I had outgrown this. Whether u r 20 or 40, the difference is the same.

Visa thing, just a short while longer. Can you believe I've enqired our tickets for summer already, anxious ehhh.

Will update you.

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