I've moved to a new neighbourhood

I got a forwarding which made me think of my situation. I think I've over-extended my temporary visa and it's time to upgrade to a permanent one. I've often complained to God how 'my' situations and storms are big and complicated and in all I forget to address the situations and storms (they are not mine any more, I refuse them) by telling them how big and understanding my God is.

I reviewed my drive recently, and the findings were shocking. Many times I ask God to lead me, but in actual sense I drive myself. I miss junctions on motorways, I go beyond/below the speed limit and get penalties, I forget the road works, yet in all I'm too quick to ask God 'where were You in all these'. I search 'my location' in my GPS, often forgetting that He is the GPS.

Before I start something else, here is the forwarding...

"Can't remember if I told you that:

I have moved out from Beggars Alley, located at 2 Poverty Lane at the corner of Down and Out Circle. As of today, I have a brand new home.

My new address is Living Well on 231 Abundance Terrace, located at the corner of Blessings Drive and Prosperity Peak . It's in the God Can neighborhood. I will no longer allow myself to travel to the other side of town on Begging Peter to Pay Paul Route, located at a dead end intersection called I Don't Have, which connects with Borrowers Junction! .

I no longer hang out at Failure's Place, near Excuses Avenue , next to
procrastination Point. I've moved to an upscale community called Higher Heights with unlimited potential and opportunities for my success. I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me!

Life is good because God is good!

Care to change your address?

There are many vacancies!

GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS OH LORD!

I AM WELL BLESSED AND SO ARE YOU!!!!!!"

I have therefore decided to claim one of the mansions next to the forwardee. There are still more vacancies, and they are yours for the claiming. Hope to see you in my new neighbourhood, soon.

Did you know that if you drive over 70mph and below 93mph on the motorway if caught it's a traffic offence? Beyond 93mph is a criminal offence.

Dear Lord

Thank you for this day, and for being by my side. In you, I see, feel and find hope.

Thank you for all my family including master Maua, my stalker, my blogren and e-friends. Strengthen our ties as we seek you more and more. Avail Yourself in our needs according to Your riches in glory.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

Describing my stalking playboy.

I have been in a relationship since Aug last year which has caused me so much pain. I am not sure whether I am in love or just infatuated, but I have gotten to the point of when he says jump, I ask how high. We live an hour away, and we are more in a long distance relationship, phone only. I write emails, send texts, but he says he finds it easier to just call. He's my friend on Face book, no, Facebook stranger. He follows me all the way, no comments. Zero foot prints.

He’s a Kenyan, he's my age, and has 2 children in a previous relationship, exactly the way I like them now. I feel like he’s using his children and work as an excuse to escape some things. He spends one weekend, Fri to Sun, and a whole Saturday a month with the kids. I have a son too, and due to my past experience, I respect families and therefore refrain myself from any contact with him during this time. I believe it’s his time with his children. His childrens' mother got married 1 month before we met after having separated for 5 years. I was a perfect catch for a rebound.

He has an IT company, servicing and maintaining business computer servers, and at times when these businesses have issues, he is required to attend to them even on weekends (so I've been made to believe). His contract with many of them requires him to be on-call. Most times he’s working from home, but his time is ‘fully engaged’.

I'm a QT kinda girl. I don't want flowers, chocolate, and words have lost meaning since August. I want him with me as often as I can. But sometimes I don’t see him for up to 2-3 weeks. When he’s with me, he makes me feel so special I forget all the hurt he causes. We talk 1-2 times a day, and there will be times we’ll not talk for up to 2 days. He was too busy to see me weekend before Xmas as he was travelling to Kenya for 3 weeks. In my calendar, my days have halted on 13th Feb coz I'm still waiting for dear Valentine. He's still on the motorway driving to me.

I used to just turn up at his doorstep in the hope of proving something, but I’m tired of the games. The annoying thing is when he doesn’t answer his phone, especially Saturdays when we are supposed to meet. I have a feeling I'm not the only one in his life, but talk of silence treatment, I've been injected with this silent, secret drug that has no name whose side effect is the need and desire of him being with me or talking to me.

On the other hand, he is full of knowledge, and when we see/talk, there is nothing we can not talk about. When he’s 'present', he’s a brother, lover, teacher, sister, friend, confidant and many more, all wrapped up in him. He has a wicked sense of humour, and he’s the sort of guy you won’t feel a thing taking to your parents.

I know this relationship is terminally ill, I want to kill it. The question is not how but when? Many a times I plan in my head how I’ll keep off him, but I’m too weak in the evenings after my son has gone to bed, when I need to talk to someone ‘who understands me’, or when I’m alone and playing scrabble alone in the dark.

I am in the last phase of writing my thesis, and since Oct last year, this relationship has caused too much damage in my studies. We broke off in Nov for about 3 weeks, and I thought it’d be easy to get over him as I busied myself in my studies. Pure lies, it caused so much hurt and tears I had to request for more time in my submission from Jan to May. When we got back together, I thought things would be ok, but I am in a worse situation than before. I feel so rejected and insecure, and the need to proof myself to him despite the fact that I’m also trying to delete him in my life completely. I'm normally a very strong person who can easily walk away and not look back, but not with this one. I'm totally eddied around him. Love, not sure.

I want out, but right now, getting off will cause more damage than staying in. I have a deadline to hand in my project, but how do I stay in this till then and still deliver a good piece of work?

I know I'm not a kid, and I shouldn't be played. And I know I should get off him like now, but somethings are easier said than done.

This is my favourite, coutesy of my stalker playboy. When he whispers those words, who wouldn't be fooled. Complete contraction.

Rescue Team Needed

Why is life so unfair?

I need to finish my dissertation. I need support to hand this on time not a will power to end a terminally ill affair. Surely, how can one love he who does not show back? Not even sure of his caring. How did I agree to in back and climb this high?

If I end this now, I'll not make my deadline in ten weeks time. If I go on like this, I might crack and hurt myself. I'm on an cliff. I need someone to gently let me down, a rescue team, or I'll jump, and the end results, looser on both ends.

God, give me some strength using my blogthren....

2011 Favours

Stalker II is playing hard to get, and I'm thinking if I'll be replacing him this year. He's misbehaved in the last year, and maybe that is a reason for having ditched blogger for a while. This morning he just refused to be turned on, and being a new year, I'll use Handy instead. Handy is easy, I take him everywhere, he sings for/to me, shoots my photos, and he even lets me make calls.
Anyway, I'm using Handy to write my first 2011 post. Stalker II edits easily, with Handy I just have to handle him with care. So, if there are any typos, blame me not.

Handy let me read the bible on new year's day, and John 4 became a revelation, esp vs 35-38. I'm so comforted that there are things in my life that I don't have to sweat for coz others have laboured and all I have to do is reap. 2011, I am claiming God's favour in my life, and I wish all of you a share in this. Go get your blessings.

I start by claiming a Stalker III. I need one I can handle. XP was easier than Windows 7.