Flowerly Maua

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I smile recklessly and I love excessively. I live today knowing I have no other day until tomorrow. Now is my moment. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a mystery, but today, today is my gift (present).

Friday, 13 March 2009

Similar Syndromes

I came across this forwarding, and I thought its a relative of this. How funny, we all suffer from similar syndromes.


INSTALLING A HUSBAND


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme..html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.


If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.


Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!
Tech Support

Other Arising Matters.

I've not fully made a comeback, a few changes going in my life, but soon. I keep promising myself that I'll come back. I miss you guys, but this is more of an emergency, and if not treated now, and with care, it might have a huge impact in my life at some point. Needless to say, I'm about to say 'bye bye London, and Stevenage, here I come', better still, Africa is calling. I'm assessing whether the greener pastures in Africa are just seasonal mauas ama I should make a move.

I'm also on the last 'leg' of writing my dissertation, and time is not on my side. These things combined put me in a situation I wouldn't wish my best enemy.

I've tried to keep up with you, but I'm oftenly finding myself in Europes most uncivilised where wireless networks are not supported. I feel like I'm back in Kiambu some 20 something yrs ago, but again, there are some merits accompanying the uncivilisation. I'm hopeful for a Blackberry anytime now, but before then, pls forgive me.

6 comments:

Shiko-Msa said...

Welcome back Maua after a long time. And on a hilarious not too. Thanks for this. Made my morning.

BP 1 said...

Nice one!!!! With that hi-tech joke, am sure your long absence can now be forgiven. Welcome back

Cee said...

An interesting dotcom joke!!!!

neema divine said...

lol. :))))

joyunspeakable said...

Maua...you have been absent without apology!!!

gladys said...

love the husband joke lol