Similar Syndromes

I came across this forwarding, and I thought its a relative of this. How funny, we all suffer from similar syndromes.


INSTALLING A HUSBAND


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme..html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.


If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.


Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!
Tech Support

Other Arising Matters.

I've not fully made a comeback, a few changes going in my life, but soon. I keep promising myself that I'll come back. I miss you guys, but this is more of an emergency, and if not treated now, and with care, it might have a huge impact in my life at some point. Needless to say, I'm about to say 'bye bye London, and Stevenage, here I come', better still, Africa is calling. I'm assessing whether the greener pastures in Africa are just seasonal mauas ama I should make a move.

I'm also on the last 'leg' of writing my dissertation, and time is not on my side. These things combined put me in a situation I wouldn't wish my best enemy.

I've tried to keep up with you, but I'm oftenly finding myself in Europes most uncivilised where wireless networks are not supported. I feel like I'm back in Kiambu some 20 something yrs ago, but again, there are some merits accompanying the uncivilisation. I'm hopeful for a Blackberry anytime now, but before then, pls forgive me.

When Snow brought UK to a halt

Heavy snows in the country last night and the whole place comes to a stand still.
• The airport's 2 runaways have been shut down, and all departures affected
• Train services have been canceled/delayed
• Bus service was suspended until further notice.
• Euro-star cancelled all services and offered rebooks for 60 days

Being a developed country which has experienced this weathers for thousands of years, one expects they would have learnt to deal with them. But today alone will cost the country millions of ££££

Let's get to work.

Jacket off, and get to work. Lets read the predecessors letter first as we ask the secetary to hold all the call this morning.

As is traditional,outgoing US president George W Bush left a note for his successor in the top drawer of his desk in the Oval Office. The white house obviously doesnt reveal the exact details of the letter to Barack Obama, but alot of you out there would like to think it went something like this...


Dear Barry,

First and foremosting, i would like to congratulatise you on getting the job. It will be great to have someone come in and bring a finished completion to all the work i did. I have to warn you,though, being president isnt all laughs. There are a lot of boring speeches to sit through.

But i think you will make a great commander-in-chife. You've got what I've got - charismaticism. And that goes a long way. I also dig the way you got all those famous people on your side - they didnt take much to me. But i like that Jon Bon Jovi who sang a few days before your augmentation - he's a good guy.

My daddy once told me : 'eat your vegetables, George Jnr.' And he was right. Well,now it;s my turn to give some advisementary words. Don't let people misunderestimate you the way they misunderestimated me - I hope you don't misunderstanderate what I'm getting at there,Baz. I know I used a lot of big words in that sentence.

Being the president is a bit like grabbing a bull by it's horns - you gotta go up to that bull and grab its horns. In a metaphosphorical sense,of course. If you grab a real bull by the horns you won't be the president for too long. You should maybe write that down.

I've left you some pretzels on my desk and,before i forget,i've also left you a crisis in the Middle East and a bad economy - in London,Engerland, they're calling that a 'credit crunch'. Ain't that cute? sounds like a breakfast cereal to me,Baz. Next time you're in No 1,Downing street, tell Gordon Ramsay I said 'hi'.

So i guess that's all i got for ya,I know you'll be a super leader. They made a movie about me after eight years were up,so if they do the same with you I guess you'll know you've done a good job. Good luck,Baz!

Yours in the white house,

G doubleU B

Will be back soon

2008 suck, especially the last month. I'll be back on blogsphere as soon as I'm able to wrestle again, hoping it'll be soon.

Keep me in your prayers.

My 1st blogger birthday was last week, any presents?

In the mean time, see Maua's column.

Incest in Europe

Josef Fritzl, and the man from Sheffield should have been jailed in Kenya, such that if they ever got chances of ever writing books about their lives in crime like John Kiriamiti, and if human rights activists kept their noses off, I can assure you no man in the western world would ever commit such crimes.

For those who are still in hiding, your days are numbered.