Looking for a man Part 1

Of late, I’ve been one busy Miss Macharia (looking). My sister in law has become more annoying and I’ve sworn to look for my own man and be the best sister-in-law. Mr Maua (he of facebook) started playing hide and seek, I got tired. He was not available from ‘this time to that time’. My phone bill escalated so high, and he stopped contacting, although my calling was welcomed. (I hate to say that you told me so).

I believe there’s a man ‘in the house’ for me, thus visited many houses in the last few weeks. I went to every Christian conference in London, and the neighbouring cities, I visited several churches, I signed up in Christian dating websites, visited several other places where I know Christians hung, all in the name of machariaring. And meeting I did.

I first met this handsome Naija guy who started calling me baby, honey, sweetheart and the like on the first date. He promised me heaven and earth (the moon included) within 3 days, and I knew he was a liar (heaven and earth can’t surely be his, we all know the owner). Sweetie and babie came out so fake I couldn’t take it.

I met a French/Naija (Nigerian father, Congolese mother, born and raised in France) young doctor who, I’d say just made my heart melt. The guy is a worshipper, when he leads the worship on Sunday, if you aren’t born again, believe me you’ll get saved.

The guy ggave me his phone numbers (mobile and work). So, I was having an appointment at the hospital where he works, and I decided to surprise him, buoi (say it the Naija way), he’s a radiographer not a radiologist. The guy also has a live-in girlfriend and a child – I’m too possessive, I don’t share. So I waved bye bye to yet another ‘brother’.

I met this other ‘brother’, Kenyan alright. He leads the service in his church, and there was no way I’d have thought of ‘me and him’. I felt way too beneath, yes down there. He’s ‘holier than thou’. After service there was a cuppa tea, and as my son approached the hall from Sunday school, the guy was standing at the entrance, he asked how my son liked SS, and then who he came with. Master Maua looked my direction and our eyes locked. We used the same train home, and ala, he lives in the neighbourhood. Te next Sunday after church he popped by, we had lunch. My son went to his room, and the brother and I were left alone. Within a short while the eyes started talking, then another language in a manner likely to suggest something different, he moved next to me. I was in shock, ‘is this the same guy I saw last Sunday?'

He reminded me of someone I cared for, who made me stumble. If the guy had not been born again, I’d have married him. But the stumbling part made me scared coz I was a baby Christian and he was meant to be more mature but……. And then there was this one in my living room.

Something was not right.

I opened the door and told him where to go.

4 days ago, I got a mail from a guy in one of the dating services. This guy, 32 yrs had seen my profile and he liked, could I look at his, he said. I ignore. Next day another mail. ‘I really like your profile, can I IM you’. Sure you can, but I've not subscribed to have that service.

I replied and told this guy to read my profile again. 40-45. Age is really important to me. It may be a number, but to me it’s not. He replied and told me that he’s actually 36, but ‘you can’t write all about yourself’. 36 and 40, there’s no much difference, he said. ‘Pls respect my profile’s wishes, if you were 48, I’d consider, but not even 39’. I know what I want, and I'm not ready to bend that just to suit you coz you like my profile, and think I don't even look 40. I ain’t being anyone’s mama, been there done that, not going back.

I’ve since deleted my profile, and I’ve stopped visiting the ‘houses’. I'm thinking of quiting my part time business. I can't keep planning, filming and photo shooting other people's weddings.

It’s now left between the Man above and I.