Women and whatever suits them

Women have had this thing of relaying the wrong information since Adam's time, and they never learn. They belittle big things, give wrong messages and in most cases, they never reflect on their wrongs, business as usual. Men often get into trouble because of women right from the beginning of the earth. The story of creation and the first woman, Eve tells it. I have to admit I read this many times before getting it, and a man of God put me in the right direction, and then I saw it, and then I repented.

'And the Lord God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die." (Genesis 2:16-17 NIV). These were the istructions given to Adam by Lord God before He made Eve. Note that in Gen 1, the bible refers to 'God', but in Gen 2 that changes to 'Lord God'. This indicates that He was the Almighty God, God of Adam. Adam was expected to acknowledge His Lordship.

'"Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die." (Genesis 3:1-3 NIV). Satan did not submit to God, therefore Lord God was only God to him. Eve went on to ignore the Lordship of God and just refered to God.

The bible refers to 'The Lord God said', but Eve just said 'God said'. The Lord God's instructions were not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, yet to Eve it was the tree in the middle of the garden. Considerng that Eve had not been created when the Lord God gave Adam the instructions, was it Adam's fault. Did Adam give her the wrong instructions to just simplify things, or did she just want to simplify the instructions to understand more. I can visualise Adam pointing at the tree and saying that they must not eat from 'that tree', and Eve asking, 'which tree exactly', and Adam wanting to make it easy for Eve to understand saying 'that tree, no, not that one, the other one, the one in the middle'.

"Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves". (Genesis 3:7 NIV), and in Gen 3:21 NIV we see that "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." Man looks for temporary solutions for his problems, but regardless of how much you have wronged our God, He will have a permanent solution. He always knows what is best for man.

And the Lord God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever." (Genesis 3:22 NIV) So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground. (Genesis 3:23 NIV). This tells me that it was not our God's intention for man to die. He wanted to protect man from knowing the difference between good and evil. Man was His child, but man disobeyed.

Alone and lonely

So I lie here in the dark, alone. This bed should be a playground. I'm idle, I need to play. I try chess, I'm the queen. The pawns are too slow, the bishops too holy. I need a king to protect.

I think of scrabble. A successful scrabble game in the dark can only be about building and demolishing my own projects in space, even before they fruit. It is fun to some degree, and very exhausting.

I don't mind being alone, but, I sure hate being lonely.
The cure, my beau. Please hurry up.

This is 2012

Time: 18:00
Year: 2012
Month: May
Place: Rome

My husband and I are visiting his brother. This is a day after my brother in law's graduation and he has offered to take his mum and her 70 something year old sister siteseeing. My husband and I are left behind to prepare dinner for a few guests coming tonight.

We have cooked, baked, roasted and whatever else people do when they are entertaining. I am so tired, and suddenly remember I have not eaten all day despite all the cooking. I put a little food on a plate before we all sit down. I lean against the kitchen counter and my husband offers to wash the dishes and check on the roasting while I eat or while we wait for the others. Suddenly we are chatting and laughing. Still leaning and holding my plate, and my husband washing dishes, we notice his aunt standing at the door. Not sure how long she's been there, but long enough to see me eating, talking, laughing and my hubby washing, laughing and kissing me.

She raises her voice, calling her younger sister, asking what's wrong with him (her nephew). How can he be washing dishes and cooking and whatever else while his wife is just there watching, eating and maybe waiting to give him the plate to wash?

What is the best response except 'This is 2012?'

Surnames

Every country has its set of common names. If you take a Kenyan telephone directory (do they still exist), there’s bound to be hundreds of Kamaus, Njoroges, Otienos, Mutuas etc. Some of them have
the same first names too. Kamau Peter, or Otieno Peter could appear like almost a hundred times and you may not identify them. You are likely to find the same thing with the Papathopoulos of Greece, Martins, Campbells, Smiths and Jones of UK, USA and maybe Australia, but these ones are easier to locate with post codes.

But talking of Kenya, the Kamaus and Njoroges have this naming ritual pattern where children are named after their grandparents, aunties and uncles, making them one of the few people who change surnames. A husband will have a different surname with his wife and children. If say, my name is Wambui, and I married Kamau Njoroge, my name will be Wambui Kamau. My children will not be Njoroges, but Kamaus. My first born son will be Njoroge Kamau, and his wife and children will bear the surname Njoroge. This will carry on for every one of the children, meaning that if my father’s name is Mwangi Kihara, my second son will be Mwangi Kamau, but his wife and children will bear Mwangi as their surname. My third son will be named after my husband’s eldest brother, or if my husband is the eldest, the immediate junior brother (or who should have been named). If his name is Maina, his wife and children’s surname will be Maina. You've guessed right, my fourth son will be Kihara Kamau.

The girls will bear set middle names. If my husband's mother's name is Wangui, my first daughter will be Wangui Kamau, and her second daughter will be.........yes, Wambui.

We, the Kikuyus do not fish for names, names find us or found us. We already know what our children's names long before they are born. I knew my second born girl's/boy’s names when I was a little girl.

Gikuyus do not retain surnames, and it saddens me that when Gikuyu women get married to their fellow Gikuyu men in the western world, the authorities kinda force them to adopt their father-in-law’s surnames to prove they are married to their husbands. Their first born sons end up losing their surnames, and some loose identities.

Get the drift?

When the other woman becomes the other woman

Most of my life I have always hated Camilla. Yes the 'future queen'.

I always looked at her as the other woman, the woman who wrecked Diana's marriage, the mistress. She had nothing Diana had, beauty, charisma, the list is long. But didn't she meet Charles before Diana? Didn't Charles say he was in love with her long before and after Diana? Hadn't she at some point also looked at Diana as the other woman?

Imagine for one second that Charles and Camilla had gotten a child before he met Diana. Imagine also that Camilla and Diana were good friends, close friends and that Camilla introduced Diana to Charles as a friend, and that Diana, being the woman she was, used her feminine charms to get Charles, then slept with him coz she felt that Camilla didn't deserve him. Imagine too, Camilla kicked Charles out and that Charles went to live with Diana, not married, but cohabited for almost 10 years. Then Charles decided that Diana was not the woman, that Camilla was, just like he decided in real life when he accepted publicly that Camilla was the love of his life and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. And imagine that Camilla accepted Charles back into her life, just like she did only that it took Charles more than 7 years to win Camilla back, and imagine that Charles and Camilla got married in the end, just like they did, except in this case, there was no Parker Bowles, and lastly, imagine that Diana lived to see Charles and Camilla's wedding.

I so much feel like Camilla right now, and although I was so bitter with the Diana who did all the above and my Charles for lowering his standards coz my Diana was not pretty and had no charisma, right now she also thinks of me as the other woman.

Recover all

I finally found my Mr Maua.

On 21st April, the man I fell in love with 18 yrs ago, the father of my child and the one I dreamt that would let me complete him finally got into my life, fully.

To the Man upstairs, I just wanna thank You for Your completion. 2011 was the year of pursuing and 2012 became the year of recovering all, 1 Sam 30:18.

I THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR FAITHFULNESS.

Dear Valentine

Dear Valentine

You thought you whisper to my ears, but the whispers instead talk to my heart. You kiss my soul every time I give you my lips. Thank you dear Valentine, for in you I see things I was blinded to. Thank you for letting me see the world in you.

Your Valentino

Lived nightmares can have a hope.

I was in my mid 20s, at an age when I aspired a place in the world of young professionals when I met an influential relative who would turn my love dreams into lived nightmares in the hope of ending with 'happily ever after'.

It was my brothers birthday party and honestly, my mind was too occupied by events to even notice him. This was the first time I saw him, but I do not think I gave him a second thought that night. He went home in the wee hours of the morning and scribbled something in his heart's diary, in the lines of 'TODAY I MET THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS'. 18 yrs on I am still in his dreams. There have been 2 proposals, both 17 yrs apart, a son and a 16 yr separation. For a good fraction of that 16 years both of us have dreamt of killing each other. We have both done things in our own rights only to be haunted by their results years later. We both felt justified that our actions were getaways to entering new chapters of our separate lives, but....., God always has a wicked sense of humour.

On 31st Dec, both our families gathered for a negotiation aka 'uthoni'. My son has his father back, an 11 yr old brother and I am just about asking Kenny Lattimore and Chante Moore if they will help me say 'When I say I do'.

Learning Kenyan

For the first three years of my mid teenage son's life we communicated in Kikuyu, my mother tongue, and only Kikuyu. A few people were a bit apprehensive, like my brothers, but he is my son. I caused several times when they spoke English to him, or when he responded in English. Being born in UK, and with no immediate plans of relocating to Kenya he was going to learn the queen's language anyway. Kikuyu was going to give him a sense of identity and belonging, not to mention having a medium of a private conversation with him in public, or a language I could threaten him, 'eterera tukinye mucii' (wait we get home).

Two weeks to his third birthday, I had to leave for Kenya to care for my mum, and what I thought was a short stay lasted for nine months. I came back to find a chatterbox and my hard work had gone down the drain. My chatterbox son did not speak a word of Kikuyu, courtesy of my brothers. But he was well taken care of.

Last Christmas, my son and I went to Kenya. It was his first time ever, and he hated 16 of the 20 days we were there (the 4 were spent in Malindi).

To my surprise, he picked so many words, but they are all Kenyan. Uka haha, oriti, wacha ujinga, poa, tugende, ninguukuna, barikiwa, shindwe, wi mwega, habari, misi, I have no idea which language to concentrate on. I only speak Kikuyu and Kiswahili. I hate Sheng.

But I'm glad the interest to learn Kenyan is there. I can also proudly report that my son has come from being a Gikuyu, Kenyan, English, British and back to Kenyan.

Yes, it's all over, for now.

I have finally come to the end of my journey. My project went in yesterday. I have spent 14 hours in bed and the rest indoors not knowing what to do with myself. The last 3 weeks have been spent in front of ‘Stalker III’, and right now, although he and I have spent too much time together, I’m trying to spend as much time away from him as possible, therefore, as soon as I use him to write this post, I’ll be off him for a few days. My son has missed him so much. Apparently he shows the best movies. I’ll be using ‘Handy’ instead.

Anyway, I have survived the last few weeks with this project, and yesterday after the hand in I went to see my course director, just to thank him for his help thru the journey. I expressed to him how tough it was, and how I thought I don’t have to ever go through that again. He was sympathetic enough, and just kinda repeated the exact words I had told my ‘gal’ earlier in the week that I’ll either never touch an academic book ever in my life, or I go back and do a doctorate within a few months. Mmhhh, Doctorate? So I can do a doctorate, a DBA, me, Dr Maua?

The doctorate can wait for now, I need to re-bond with a few people. My God for starters, He never let me down even when I sometimes, sometimes is an underestitate, most times forgot Him. My brothers even gave up phoning me, I was unavailable. My son, oh my son, he so understood me through this journey that he just kept off my way. He cooked for me, he ran my baths, he tucked me when I fell asleep in the wrong places and he even did the shopping. He was just the perfect guy for me, that I wrote this in my acknowledgement.

This work is dedicated to my son, whose smile every morning gives me the reason to get up and strife to make the world a better place for him, and who, even when he didn’t understand, showed me and softly told me, ‘mummy, you can do it’.

A big thank you to God for all His love and cares through this journey, and for showing me that through it all, Him and I are tight and I’m forever His girl.

Thanks to all who contributed in making this project a success.

Special thanks to my supervisor, her guidance and support is/was invaluable, my Course Director and the administrator, the men who knew where everything was, thank you for being there.

Thank you to all my families, i.e. New Hope Church Int’l, T & D and my ‘gals’, especially Winn who did all the critical bit, words cannot express my gratitude.

I acknowledge all the men in my life
Master, thank you for being the adult in my absence. No more junk food from now on.
Big guys, sorry for all the calls I missed or never made; you can have your sister back.
My Pastors, thank you for your continued prayers. The prayers never went to voicemails or held in queues, they went to heaven express.
Boss, you are the best I could ever ask for.
Friend, you inspired the start of this journey, thank you for being there through it all.
Stalker, for all the e-tissues and the tele-stalking, especially at night to check my progress, for being the ‘devil’s advocate’, technical support, and your ‘can you do this?’ lectures, priceless.

It was mother’s day on 3th April and again on 8th May, but I forgot all about it. And I’m therefore adding this bit of acknowleding.
Mum, you never had the chance to attend any of my graduations, but the seeds you sowed in me have surely come to harvesting. Thank you for all your hard work and the wise words, and most of all, thank you for all your unselfishness.

A big thank you to my e-friends, when I was down, you came down to my level and showed me I could wipe the dirt and slowly get up and going.

Thank you all.

I'm so McBovvered now

I’m meant to be finalising my paper. I’ve been off work for the last few weeks and will be for another 3 weeks. My phones have been off/on silent, and I’ve not even bothered with the door bell. This is not very helpful to my friends and family, especially those who have branded me ‘a walking A-Z’ and ‘talking pages. Missing me, they say, but am I bovvered right now, do I sound bovvered? No, even Catherine Tate agrees with me.

But I am starting to get McBothered now coz they are now calling my son’s phone, and the land line has been doing my heading. I’m considering leaving town and locking myself in my library, the only problem – 24hr service has been suspended until after May Bank Holiday.

Can these people go for Bank Holiday as well?

See you after my paper is well handed.

I've moved to a new neighbourhood

I got a forwarding which made me think of my situation. I think I've over-extended my temporary visa and it's time to upgrade to a permanent one. I've often complained to God how 'my' situations and storms are big and complicated and in all I forget to address the situations and storms (they are not mine any more, I refuse them) by telling them how big and understanding my God is.

I reviewed my drive recently, and the findings were shocking. Many times I ask God to lead me, but in actual sense I drive myself. I miss junctions on motorways, I go beyond/below the speed limit and get penalties, I forget the road works, yet in all I'm too quick to ask God 'where were You in all these'. I search 'my location' in my GPS, often forgetting that He is the GPS.

Before I start something else, here is the forwarding...

"Can't remember if I told you that:

I have moved out from Beggars Alley, located at 2 Poverty Lane at the corner of Down and Out Circle. As of today, I have a brand new home.

My new address is Living Well on 231 Abundance Terrace, located at the corner of Blessings Drive and Prosperity Peak . It's in the God Can neighborhood. I will no longer allow myself to travel to the other side of town on Begging Peter to Pay Paul Route, located at a dead end intersection called I Don't Have, which connects with Borrowers Junction! .

I no longer hang out at Failure's Place, near Excuses Avenue , next to
procrastination Point. I've moved to an upscale community called Higher Heights with unlimited potential and opportunities for my success. I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me!

Life is good because God is good!

Care to change your address?

There are many vacancies!

GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS OH LORD!

I AM WELL BLESSED AND SO ARE YOU!!!!!!"

I have therefore decided to claim one of the mansions next to the forwardee. There are still more vacancies, and they are yours for the claiming. Hope to see you in my new neighbourhood, soon.

Did you know that if you drive over 70mph and below 93mph on the motorway if caught it's a traffic offence? Beyond 93mph is a criminal offence.

Dear Lord

Thank you for this day, and for being by my side. In you, I see, feel and find hope.

Thank you for all my family including master Maua, my stalker, my blogren and e-friends. Strengthen our ties as we seek you more and more. Avail Yourself in our needs according to Your riches in glory.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

Describing my stalking playboy.

I have been in a relationship since Aug last year which has caused me so much pain. I am not sure whether I am in love or just infatuated, but I have gotten to the point of when he says jump, I ask how high. We live an hour away, and we are more in a long distance relationship, phone only. I write emails, send texts, but he says he finds it easier to just call. He's my friend on Face book, no, Facebook stranger. He follows me all the way, no comments. Zero foot prints.

He’s a Kenyan, he's my age, and has 2 children in a previous relationship, exactly the way I like them now. I feel like he’s using his children and work as an excuse to escape some things. He spends one weekend, Fri to Sun, and a whole Saturday a month with the kids. I have a son too, and due to my past experience, I respect families and therefore refrain myself from any contact with him during this time. I believe it’s his time with his children. His childrens' mother got married 1 month before we met after having separated for 5 years. I was a perfect catch for a rebound.

He has an IT company, servicing and maintaining business computer servers, and at times when these businesses have issues, he is required to attend to them even on weekends (so I've been made to believe). His contract with many of them requires him to be on-call. Most times he’s working from home, but his time is ‘fully engaged’.

I'm a QT kinda girl. I don't want flowers, chocolate, and words have lost meaning since August. I want him with me as often as I can. But sometimes I don’t see him for up to 2-3 weeks. When he’s with me, he makes me feel so special I forget all the hurt he causes. We talk 1-2 times a day, and there will be times we’ll not talk for up to 2 days. He was too busy to see me weekend before Xmas as he was travelling to Kenya for 3 weeks. In my calendar, my days have halted on 13th Feb coz I'm still waiting for dear Valentine. He's still on the motorway driving to me.

I used to just turn up at his doorstep in the hope of proving something, but I’m tired of the games. The annoying thing is when he doesn’t answer his phone, especially Saturdays when we are supposed to meet. I have a feeling I'm not the only one in his life, but talk of silence treatment, I've been injected with this silent, secret drug that has no name whose side effect is the need and desire of him being with me or talking to me.

On the other hand, he is full of knowledge, and when we see/talk, there is nothing we can not talk about. When he’s 'present', he’s a brother, lover, teacher, sister, friend, confidant and many more, all wrapped up in him. He has a wicked sense of humour, and he’s the sort of guy you won’t feel a thing taking to your parents.

I know this relationship is terminally ill, I want to kill it. The question is not how but when? Many a times I plan in my head how I’ll keep off him, but I’m too weak in the evenings after my son has gone to bed, when I need to talk to someone ‘who understands me’, or when I’m alone and playing scrabble alone in the dark.

I am in the last phase of writing my thesis, and since Oct last year, this relationship has caused too much damage in my studies. We broke off in Nov for about 3 weeks, and I thought it’d be easy to get over him as I busied myself in my studies. Pure lies, it caused so much hurt and tears I had to request for more time in my submission from Jan to May. When we got back together, I thought things would be ok, but I am in a worse situation than before. I feel so rejected and insecure, and the need to proof myself to him despite the fact that I’m also trying to delete him in my life completely. I'm normally a very strong person who can easily walk away and not look back, but not with this one. I'm totally eddied around him. Love, not sure.

I want out, but right now, getting off will cause more damage than staying in. I have a deadline to hand in my project, but how do I stay in this till then and still deliver a good piece of work?

I know I'm not a kid, and I shouldn't be played. And I know I should get off him like now, but somethings are easier said than done.

This is my favourite, coutesy of my stalker playboy. When he whispers those words, who wouldn't be fooled. Complete contraction.

Rescue Team Needed

Why is life so unfair?

I need to finish my dissertation. I need support to hand this on time not a will power to end a terminally ill affair. Surely, how can one love he who does not show back? Not even sure of his caring. How did I agree to in back and climb this high?

If I end this now, I'll not make my deadline in ten weeks time. If I go on like this, I might crack and hurt myself. I'm on an cliff. I need someone to gently let me down, a rescue team, or I'll jump, and the end results, looser on both ends.

God, give me some strength using my blogthren....

2011 Favours

Stalker II is playing hard to get, and I'm thinking if I'll be replacing him this year. He's misbehaved in the last year, and maybe that is a reason for having ditched blogger for a while. This morning he just refused to be turned on, and being a new year, I'll use Handy instead. Handy is easy, I take him everywhere, he sings for/to me, shoots my photos, and he even lets me make calls.
Anyway, I'm using Handy to write my first 2011 post. Stalker II edits easily, with Handy I just have to handle him with care. So, if there are any typos, blame me not.

Handy let me read the bible on new year's day, and John 4 became a revelation, esp vs 35-38. I'm so comforted that there are things in my life that I don't have to sweat for coz others have laboured and all I have to do is reap. 2011, I am claiming God's favour in my life, and I wish all of you a share in this. Go get your blessings.

I start by claiming a Stalker III. I need one I can handle. XP was easier than Windows 7.

60 Seconds with Maua

For the journalists out there, if you had a 60 second interview with Maua,this is how I'd imagine it to be.

1. What did you want to be when you were growing up? Air Hostess until I heard an air hostess refer herself as a plane makanga, then Effie Owuor inspired me into Law but I didn't get into Athens School of Law, I was not good enough in Greek, I sat for the entrance exam 3 times, failed, sat for it in English, passed, but.... gave up. Not lost hope yet, still hoping to do a CPE in my old age.

2. What’s the best piece of advice you have ever been given? Go after what you believe in. Often easier said than done, but when done, gives me so much satisfaction.

3. What’s the best piece of advice you ever gave? Study what you most enjoy, the benefits are priceless.

4. What do you most enjoy about your job? Which one? I’m a jack of 5 trades, and every one has it’s high. Co-ordinating whatever function from scratch, be it a photo-session, video shooting, wedding, doctors' theatre diaries or training MH is my joy.

5. Who would you most like to have dinner with? Churchill. I'm sure I'd forget my dinner as I try to tap and enjoy his humour.

6. What has been your most embarrassing moment? When my ex and I played a game where we pretended not to know each other, and he just picked a full tube on a Sunday evening. I was trying to get his attention on something, and as I talked and talked he just looked at me like I was a nut case with about 20 people watching/listening.

7. Who is the most important person in your life? My son. He means the world to me. In him, there are so many reasons to be a better me.

8. What's your worst regret in life? Falling and staying in love with someone who didn't give a f.\;'## about me. I still do love him regardless of how I try to delete him in my life.

9. Who is your role model? My mum, the most loving, selfless, beautiful and clever being I've ever met.

10. If you could be one person for a day, who would that be? Kenya's Health Secretary (Minister). I’d love to know how he sleeps at night after knowing people are dying every day from illnesses that can be prevented, but people are too malfunctioned due to economic strains caused by the top WHOS.

3toc, Joy, Bomseh, KK, Shiko and PKW this is the moment of truth. Tag 5-6 more, and let them know.

It is not good for man to be alone

Genesis 2:18, God said, ‘..it is not good for man to be alone’.

But baby, if you don't find me worth, if you don’t protect me, if you can’t bring the best of me, if you hurt and make me cry, if you don't want me around you, then, regardless if how much I love you, and believe me when I say I love you, I think it's best for you to be alone.

Snow everywhere.

Snow everywhere, by now they should know how to manage the crisis.

I got to work ok, sonny went to school, but how will we go home if this continues

Psalms 23:4

Psalms 23:4 '...walk through the valley of the shadow of death..... Devil, I'm walking through, passing, transit not staying. So don't even dare to offer me a permanent residence. I'm making no application coz God's grace is sufficient. I'm pretty sure you can't afford me, for I'm too expensively bought with the precious blood of Jesus. So, go to hell.